enfj personality

ENFJ Personality Type Secrets

ENFJs are charismatic and influential people who put others before themselves. They are genuinely interested in helping others improve, and they use their natural influence to help people and organizations succeed. The ENFJ personality type is one of the most caring and altruistic personalities, but the ENFJ has a dark side that may appear when under stress or in difficult situations.

1. The ENFJ Personality Lives for Other People

An ENFJ’s world is formed by other people. Their entire life’s motivation is made up externally of human situations and relationships. ENFJs constantly want to help other people to be the best they can be, to make things right in their worlds, and to enable and empower them. ENFJs are great empathizers and they can easily understand other people’s feelings, perspectives, and needs. ENFJs feel that they are following their life’s path when they’re bringing out the best in others.


2. Their People Skills Can Be Used for Good or for Evil

ENFJs have such amazing people skills that they can usually make people do anything they want them to do. Since the majority of ENFJs are truly concerned with the welfare of others, it is rare that an ENFJ will use this ability for evil. But they do have this power, and may exert more control over others than they realize.

ENFJs have an uncanny ability to subtly direct people into making decisions that they feel is best for the person. For example, an ENFJ might feel that it is necessary to nudge someone into making a decision that will help them grow. ENFJs aren’t interested in direct arguments. Instead, they use their insight into the person to come up with a solution and then convince them that it’s the right way to go. Since ENFJs are so charismatic and enthusiastic, it usually doesn’t take much effort. This subtle manipulation can become problematic when ENFJs push their own agenda onto others, even if it’s done with positive intentions.


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3. Their Self-Esteem Takes More Frequent Hits Than You Would Think

ENFJs get their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem from an external source: other people. They feel productive when they’re able to make everyone around them happy, and they feel fulfilled by their compassion and deep connections with other people. Although ENFJs have great aptitude for influencing others, it’s never possible to completely control other people, so this is an inherently fragile situation. An ENFJ’s self-confidence will be shaken when they’re not able to help people, or if their attempts at help are criticized and rejected.


4. They are More Reserved than Other Extraverts

The typical hallmark of an extravert is someone who is outgoing, energetic, and loves being around other people. ENFJs are more reserved than other extraverted types because they place more importance on other people’s feelings. If an ENFJ worries that their own self-expression would stifle someone else’s, they will step back to allow the other person to shine. An ENFJ’s top priority is always to bring out the best in others, so they only show the parts of themselves that they feel will benefit that goal.


5. They Sometimes Feel Alone Even When Surrounded By People

It seems unusual for any extraverted type to feel alone when surrounded by other people, but ENFJs do. They place so much of their energy and focus onto other people that they might not understand themselves. This will be especially true for those ENFJs who hold back parts of themselves in order to protect others. ENFJs who feel this way might go to extreme lengths to never be alone.


6. They Can See Right Through You

As ENFJs go through life, they get better and better at reading people. They are very good at recognizing other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions. Since their primary interest in life is to help people improve, it’s a natural skill that they develop over time. People who have an ENFJ in their life sometimes feel exposed because they feel like the person with the ENFJ personality sees right through them. While this level of understanding can be a great help in developing new relationships, it can also be smothering once both people know each other well.


7. They Can Over-Burden Themselves with Other People’s Problems

ENFJs will probably agree to help you even if they don’t have the time or energy available. Many people will come to an ENFJ for help, assistance, or advice, and the ENFJ is always happy to help. Sometimes there will be too many requests, but ENFJs feel terrible when they have to turn someone away. In addition, ENFJs can become very passionate about causes or projects, and will devote too much of their personal time to them. If you have an ENFJ in your life, try not to take advantage of their caring and compassionate nature.


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